I had to ask Tony last night to not speak in the Morgan Freeman voice during sex.

Andy Dufresne

Today I took Tony out to eat at Ruby Tuesday and it was nice. We both had yummy, juicy steaks, and I had a glass of moscato wine. Yum. It was so nice for us to go sit down and eat at a decently nice restaurant that didn't serve pizza.. And he didn't complain! He usually complains about how something isn't to his liking because he's so picky and it can ruin the experience. But nope! :D We went shopping too, but the basis of the story is that the entire date day, Tony spoke in his best Morgan Freeman voice referring to Andy Dufresne or pretending to run the downstairs section of Wayne Enterprises speaking of auto pilot. I wish I could somehow type in Morgan Freeman font or dialect somehow to show how incredibly funny it was. We listened to Kevin Smith's Fatman on Batman podcast the entire way there. I actually enjoy it, which surprised me because I like Batman, I don't like him enough to listen to a guy in a hockey jersey blab about him all day.
Anywho, today was a fun day. I got a nice dinner with my babe, a cute outfit, and my hair is now long enough for a side braid.

Sims

Last night I stayed up until almost 5am playing the Sims 3. Upon first starting out my "household" as they call it, I made two young adults, being me and boyfriend. Within the first three days of our new life together with a three bedroom house which I had bought with our amazing endless "motherlode" cheat (allowing endless money), our dishwasher broke. Being the man, I had boyfriend repair it. Since his "handiness" skill was only at a level 1 at the time, he was electrocuted. I ha,d him try again in an attempt to improve his handiness skill and he was electrocuted once more. My boyfriend within our first three days had died. I put his remains in our backyard next to the pool and mourned for three days.

Reading about the Sims online (yes, I research), I found out that you could build a relationship with the ghost of a loved one, but you do have to start from scratch and actually "woohoo" and try to make a baby. So I fucked up my Sims sleep schedule so that she would sleep during the day, be grumpy going into work at her scientist job, and drink lots of coffee so she could build a romantic relationship with dead boyfriend. Eventually I became pregnant and I now have a ghost baby. I quit my job as a scientist, but I'm sure I could go back once my child is grown up and goes to school. Either way, the reason I stayed up until 5am is because I wanted to see if my baby would be a little goth half ghost kid. Nope. Harlequinn (Yes, I named her that, only upon a recent conversation with actual boyfriend that he wanted to name our future daughter this) enjoys classical music, her favorite color is spiceberry, and her favorite food is mac and cheese. She has a given artistic talent and is afraid of water, which is taking after her father. Maybe once she grows older I'll edit her and make her a goth kid and slightly ghost-like just for my own satisfaction and since I put in the effort of staying up until 5am just to see what this chap looked like.

What I'm trying to say is, I'm a dork. I wish I could quit my job and have a life cheat with unlimited free money. Oh, and my sim is super athletic, which I'm getting towards myself in the physical form. I also ordered the new Insanity workout, which I shall receive in 3-5 business days. I'm excited! I've already lost a total of 17 pounds and have approximately 30 more pounds to go. I'm determined and looking for something challenging with a workout. Yay! 

Babies

I want a baby. Not in that, "I want someone to love me unconditionally" way, but that I want to be a mother. I want to have a human being that I created with my partner, future husband, my love. I want that love to be combined into making a beautiful human being. I want to have a child as give it all the love I have to offer. To partner up with its father and show it the beauty of the world, but make aware of the evil. I want to give it what I never had. I want to show it to my mother and father and see that happiness in them. I want to be a mother because I know that out of everything I will do in life, that will be the highlight. I know I'll be a great mother.
You want to know why I know? Because I have Respect for my vagina. I'm not the girl who sleeps with a guy just because he called me pretty. I've never been that girl that you'll see at the club or bar or to "experience." That may seem naive of me, but it's never really been a need that I've felt. I've always found love, and that was most important. I know that I wouldn't be fit right now financially to be the mother I imagine I can be. I work in a call center and have an associates degree in general studies. That amounts to nothing. I realize that I need to take care of myself before considering taking care of another human being.
I just know that it's coming soon. That in the near future, once everything is planned out (or nearly there), I'll be a mother. I seriously cannot wait.

Eat Stop Eat

Ok, so I'm gonna start a new diet thing tomorrow. I've been counting calories and exercising for the past year and a half and all I've managed to lose is 8 pounds. Most of my weight is in my belly, making jeans hard to fit right and shopping a dreadful thing. Basically with this diet you eat regularly with your favorite snack foods such as ice cream, etc, in moderation. But the trick is that you fast for 24 hours every other day or so. Since this is actually really close to the way I are when I was skinny, I think it may work. I'm still going to continue to exercise and eat healthy, just taking a little break from food. I'll come back in about a week to post results, if any. :)


Update: it's now December 8th and I've lost about 5 more pounds. :) It's actually easier than what I thought and even if you cheat a little, you still lose weight. The only thing I have struggled with is finding a time to start to make it easier. Either way, I've kept it up mostly. Hoping more progress comes.

Firsts.

In the beginning, I thought you were mine. Adolescents in love.
You were my first everything. We were so young.
As we got older, grew up together, taught each other many things, you were confused.
You lied for years, hiding who you were.
You told me the half truth, but I expected more from you.
And as we went on, my fears grew deeper, my suspicions more clear.
And it seemed everyone knew but me.
You lied through your teeth, promising impossible things. Did you ever think as to how I felt?
So many people! You were unfaithful, so many knew. Not a one told me the truth, saved me the embarrassment.
I treated you with respect, love, kindness.
You betrayed me, scarred me. Now I fear that those after you will now do the same in his own way.
I've forgiven you, put it aside in my heart, because that's not you.
You're the boy with freckles who made me feel pretty so long ago.
I've seen you struggle, hurt, nearly perish.
There's a place reserved for you in my heart. There always will be, because we can never forget the person who loved us first.
You've opened my eyes, helped me grow up, embrace who I am.
After all my hurt, betrayal, anger, and fear, I have one thing left to say:
I'm proud of you, of how far you've come and the person you are.

I Understand.

For all of you before me, I understand.
Why you left, I understand.
For the ones who said he was immature, I understand.
For the ones who couldn't tolerate his family, I understand.
For the ones who cheated because you weren't happy, I understand.
For the ones who lied, I understand.
For the arguments, the excommunication, for the negative comments, I understand.
But just because I understand doesn't mean I'll do the same.
I'm here now.
His "immaturity" is a child like nature that I love and laugh at.
His family is close and tight, and when they love you, you'll never second guess it.
Infidelity is never a solution to unhappiness. We've been through hard times and I didn't know where we stood, and had the opportunity, but he was more important.
Lying only builds a deeper hole and only hurts in the end. All of our secrets are shared.
Arguments with him are endless until you give up, he's so stubborn. But after my time with him, there are hardly any arguments, no negative words, and I never excommunicate the one who has given me so much love all for one fight.
My patience has proved me worthy and long lasting. I have invested my whole heart in someone I've known from the start would treat it with care, knowing the delicacy of such a fragile thing. I've become part of a loving family who hasn't welcomed me with open arms, but has enough faith to forgive me and for that I'll be forever grateful. Through both of our pain, we have found something so much greater than what we expected.
So for all of those before me, I'm sorry for your loss. Because I've found the love of my life.